Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

A couple of nights ago,  I had to “check myself”, I mean literally have a “keeping it real” talk with myself. I assure you I’m not crazy, or at least I haven’t been diagnosed yet. I came across a post on social media where an acquaintance was talking about how great her first day of work went after taking off for maternity leave. She spoke of how she missed her job and the responsibility that comes with it. As I was reading through the comments, I felt myself starting to get upset and dare I say, offended. The other moms said things like, “I have the best of both worlds being a working woman and a mom”, “Working and being a mom made a better woman out of me”, and so on and so on. 

People, hear me when I tell you, I was so close to writing about how stay-at-home-moms (SAHM) are just as good and blah, blah, blah, blah. Listen, I’m embarrassed now just sharing this with you but what can I say, it happened. So, back to the story. Now I was about to defend all stay at home moms everywhere across the world, when that little voice of reason popped into my head. The conversation between me, myself, and I went like this…

“Erika,” said self.

“Uh, yes,” I respond.

My voice of reason asks, “Erika, can you tell me where any of those moms said something about you?”

“Right there! Right there she said she’s a better woman for it and….,” my stubborn self responds.

“But where did any one of them directly compare themselves to YOU? Furthermore, where did they mention stay-at-home-moms at all? Please, show me where they typed out E-R-I-K-A or where they said one mom is better than the other? I’ll wait on you to show me,”said self.

Talk about a swift kick in the butt!

My own insecurities about my own self worth as a stay-at-home-mom completely got the best of me. As Ice Cube says, “You betta check yo’ self before you wreck yo’ self” and I seriously had to get myself in check.

To be clear, I know my worth as a stay-at-home-mom and what this means to my family, not just my girls but to my husband, too. But sometimes I struggle with going between caring and not caring what other people think of SAHM’s. There are so many stereotypes out there that I sometimes feel I need to defend myself and name off all of my credentials gained outside the home. However, that’s MY struggle. I had to realize that  getting upset with what those women posted had nothing to do with them but everything to do with me. I was feeling insecure about my place in this world as a SAHM, that’s not their fault! But how easy it was to take offense when it was completely unnecessary. Can anyone relate?

After I had this revelation, it got me to thinking about how often so many of us do this to ourselves? We take personal offense to general statements made by others that have completely nothing to with us as individuals. So often, we compare ourselves to others, forgetting that God has something for them to do, just like He has something for you and me. We don’t all get assigned the same tasks and that’s perfectly okay. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that we fulfill our purpose for God by allowing Him to use us wherever He has placed us.

The second and final point is this, sometimes we really do have to put ourselves in check.

*1 Corinthians 11:31 states, 31 But if we judged ourselves truly, we would not be judged. 

Although it’s “funny” to say, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself” there is a truth behind the importance of doing so. I highlighted the words “judged ourselves” because I want to focus on the meaning. According to Strong’s Concordance, or Blue Letter Bible, judged ourselves has a few meanings, which are:

a. to separate, make a distinction, discriminate, to prefer
b. to learn by discrimination, to try, decide
c. to determine, give judgment, decide a dispute
d. to withdraw from one, desert
e. to separate one’s self in a hostile spirit, to oppose, strive with dispute, contend
f. to be at variance with one’s self, hesitate, doubt

As you can see, I highlighted the last meaning, f., because I feel it most closely applies to the message. I had to literally go against myself and my initial thoughts in order to put myself “in check”and I’m so glad I did. Could you imagine how silly I would’ve looked if I would have commented about how SAHM’s are just as happy and content? Thank goodness my voice of reason stepped in and helped me judge myself and in turn, prevented me from being judged by others as an overly sensitive, get over yourself, crazy SAHM. 

If I could sum up the point of this post, I guess it could be summed up in two points. Number one, everyone has something they are called to do. If God has placed you somewhere, stay there, enjoy it and be blessed by it. Number two, sometimes you need to put yourself in check and “keep it real” with yourself.

Praying for you always! Be blessed.

*Please remember when reading scripture to always read the verses before and after to understand the context. The verse I pulled from is talking about the act of communion and being of a clear mind and heart but I thought the verse was applicable to the post. Thanks!*


One thought on “Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

  1. We all need that reminder every now and then to check ourselves! The problem is that in this day and age with instant everything, we sometimes get that reminder one keystroke too late! Thank God you didn’t, but when it happens we not only have to deal with our issues within ourselves, now you have to backtrack and sometimes battle with others over what you said whereas if you had just kept in check, none of it would have happened. It is so easy to get a bit unsettled in your thoughts when other things are going on around you. But, we have to try our best to remember we all have good days and not-so-good days and that if we can to look at things (comments and actions alike) in a way where we try to really understand the other person, we may be less likely to take offense whether they were giving it out or not. I myself and working on this and I am sure I’m not alone. 😉


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